What We Maids Have To Put Up With
by DrunkDitz
Summary: Edited, COMPLETE. Edward dogged Roy for what seemed to be the one-hundredth time today. He fixed his skirts and repositioned his sun hat so that it covered his face, Edward cautiously peeked outside. He sighed in relief when he saw nobody. How had he gotten into this mess exactly? Slash, Roy/Ed


What We Maids Have To Put Up With

Summary: Edited, COMPLETE. Edward dogged Roy for what seemed to be the one-hundredth time today. He fixed his skirts and repositioned his sun hat so that it covered his face, Edward cautiously peeked outside. He sighed in relief when he saw nobody. How had he gotten into this mess exactly!? Slash, Roy/Ed

A/N: The ending might seem abrupt but in truth I've lost love for this pairing and I just wanted to finish it. It took some time because I edited it thoroughly; school packed on a billion essays and tests and on top of it all my cat died so you could say I wasn't really in the mood to write. I understand that most of you aren't reading this anymore but I had to finish it anyway because I never abandon a story, sorry for such a long wait. And I turned this into a one-shot because I'm too lazy to split it into chapters.

Note: Italics is when Ed is thinking/ranting and at some point I switch into Roy's PV, otherwise its Normal PV. I labeled which part is Roy's PV, sorry if it irritates any of you.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Warnings: Slash, perverts, molestation, cross-dressing

Al coughed violently for the third time in about seven minutes. Ed grimaced. The current remedies that he had given Al were not working in the slightest! There was one thing that he was sure that would cure Al but it was way too expensive! He didn't make enough in a week to come close to paying for it! Ed tucked Al into bed and placed a wet cloth on his head. The fever hadn't gone up but it also hadn't gone down.

Ed left with the intentions of job hunting. His current job wasn't paying for the medicine. He'd need a second job. He didn't really like the idea of a second job. His first job started from six pm and went to a little after midnight; he liked it because he could spend the day with Al. But now with Al getting sick he'd need another job which would probably take up the rest of the day that he usually spent with Al. Leaving Al alone while he was so sick wasn't appealing to him but the thought of what would happen to Al without the medicine nearly made him break out in a cold sweat.

He asked around in the small town seeing if there were jobs about. Nothing. With a sigh of defeat Ed leaned against a wall fighting back tears. What now? His ears picked up when he heard two girls talking.

"Can you believe that man? I don't care that he pays good he's way too perverted! He flipped up my skirt! And look at the outfit that he wants us to use! It barley reaches to mid-thigh!"

"Mother would kill me if I worked in such a scandalous place!"

"That's exactly why I'm quitting! Let someone else have to deal with that perverted mummy!"

"It's tempting though, they say that he pays 300 dollars a day! That's a whole lot of money . . ."

Ed stares at the wall no longer listening 300 dollars a day was a whole lot. He calculated that in a week he'd have more than enough to pay for Al's medicine. He blushed slightly, he had glanced at the maid outfit the girl had been holding, and it had looked rather . . . lewd. He wondered exactly what the job entailed. It looked all but innocent.

But it was just too tempting. Plus he'd been often told he looked like a girl, if he put on a dress, and acted accordingly nobody would notice. It was only for a week anyway. He was sure that he would keep the old man at bay for a week. With his mind set he raced back home determined to do this for Al.

Ed awkwardly put on one of his mother's old dresses. It was blue and hung on his short formless shape like a curtain. It was rather long taking it off he cut off the bottom carefully so that it came out even. He put it back on and examined himself in the broken full length mirror. He narrowed his eyes and grabbed a blue ribbon from his mother's closet. He tied it around his waist, and then unbraided his hair, which fell to his shoulders.

It irked him that he did in fact look like a girl, a pretty one at that. With a sigh he grabbed one of his mother's blue sunhats and plopped it on his head. Not taking a chance that somebody in the village would recognize him. He kissed Al's sleeping form and walked outside trying to seem less nervous then he was.

He learned from the villagers (the men seemed to be tackling each other for a chance to help him, much to his embarrassment.) that the man lived in the mansion near the outskirts of the village. Ed had figured as much but wanted to be sure. It was difficult to walk in a dress and his mother's small shoes but he had somehow managed it. He tried to seem as elegant and lady-like as possible. He really needed this job. _Al_ really needed this job.

He arrived to see a rather long line and felt his heart sink, what if by the time he got there all the jobs were already taken? He hadn't needed to worry once the man taking the interviews caught sight of him he could barely open his mouth before getting a nearly deafening "Come in!" from the man.

Work wasn't very hard he was ushered out and did little more than fold clothing and smile at the ugly leering men. That was until a couple of hours in he was told that he had to entertain a 'guest' to make sure he made the final cut.

He heard the doorbell ring and skirted off quickly to open it, and nearly died.

Ed felt his mind screaming, '_DO NOT RUN! Don't panic! Don't act suspicious_!' . . . Wasn't just standing there and gawking at him suspicious?

"I know I'm gorgeous darling but it is rather impolite to stare." Roy smirked sending me an overly arrogant wink.

Ed felt his eye twitch, ARROGANT BASTARD! Anger radiated off Ed's body like steam. He prayed that the bastard hadn't noticed. Ed grits his teeth and said in his most feminine voice, "Right this way sir."

Awesome, he hadn't called him a bastard yet!

Mustang grinned broadly, "No need to be so formal you can just call me Roy."

Ed had to keep his eyes from narrowing, '_He's fucking purring! If that letch touches me, my body, or (especially) my ass he's losing a fucking hand! Deep breathes this is all for Al_.'

A whistle sounded before Ed heard one of the mummy's guest's slur crude things about what they wanted to do to him.

_All for Al._

One wobbles to him in his less then sober state. He grins drunkenly as he bluntly leers at him.

_All for Al, all for Al, all for AL . . ._

SQUEEZE!

_HE FUCKING GRABBED MY ASS THAT PIECE OF DRUNKEN SHIT! LET'S SEE HOW MANLY YOU ARE WHEN I RIP OFF YOUR DICK AND RAPE YOU WITH IT!_

_BREATHE._

_ALL FOR AL! DAMMIT DON'T RIP OFF HIS DICK DON'T DO IT . . .!_

"I believe that the little miss does not appreciate your touches." Roy says and Ed watch's in awe as Roy tears the man off him and easily throws the drunk across the room into his other less then polite friends. They fall down like bowling pins.

"Are you alright little miss?" Roy asks.

_TWICE! HE CALLED ME LITTLE TWICE! THAT ARROGANT BASTARD! HOW DARE HE IMPLY THAT I'M SO SHORT A SQUEEZE ON THE ASS CAN MORTIBLY WOUND ME!_

"Little miss?" He asks again slightly more flirtatiously.

_Stupid lecher I should have ripped off his dick and raped you __both__ with it!_

"Miss," Ed says abruptly through clenched teeth. "No need to add little in front of it."

Roy's mouth twists into a wide lecherous smile. It fills Ed with a sudden sinking feeling.

"No need to feel self-conscious! It is perfectly normal for a _woman_ to be _short_! It is actually rather appealing to a man for a woman to be _short and petite like you_!"

_EXCEPT I'M NOT A WOMEN YOU ARROGANT, LECHEROUS BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT I'M SO SHORT AND LADY LIKE THAT I MIGHT AS WELL HAS A SEX TRANSFER! I SHOULD RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND BEAT YOU AND THE REST OF THE MALE POPULATION (except Al and me.) SENSLESS!_

"Whatever you say sir." _Sir hah! Bastard letch would be better!_

Roy grins widely at Ed and his hand presses into the middle of Ed's back edging him along.

_Breathe Edward breathe it's just your back, its ok it's just your back . . . PAT _

Ed frozen in disbelief.

_Did he just . . . _

_THAT BASTARD JUST TOUCHED MY ASS! I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM! GET READY TO LOSE A COUPLE OF LIMBS ROY PERVERT MUSTANG!_

**Roy's POV**

OH he's stiffened! I wonder if I just signed my own death certificate. I can't help but snicker slightly; Ed's so cute when he's pissed like hell.

"Roy my boy, you arrived! Taking a liking to Elizabeth aye? Wonderful girl, she is such a delicate beauty."

Elizabeth. I snort; _wow_ I would have never guessed that the short blond girl named_ Elizabeth _was actually the short blond boy named _Edward_. Truly Edward you make it too easy. Delicate. I snort again and beauty well . . . he's right there though I myself would have used the word sexy.

The old coot walks up to us err at least he tries. He walks at a snail's pace. He looks about eighty but he's probably older then that or so the rumors say. Balding, with huge glasses-that don't help his poor eyesight and a permanent leer in his features. He looked at Ed with those vomit colored eyes, once, twice, three times lingering on Ed's waist, nonexistent chest, and hidden face. I nearly laugh out loud. I'd love to see him try anything; he won't live to understand his mistakes. But I suppose I can't let him die he is a friend of my father, and grandfather, and great grandfather . . . how old is this guy?

"I can see, Elizabeth is rather delicate little miss . . ."

I hear a faint growl and nearly snicker. Ed is just too cute when he acts feral and glares everyone to death!

"Though I would keep them," I gesture to the drunk perverts. "Away from her, I know firsthand how kind women can become beasts when angered." I really do. I shudder at the thought of a certain obsessed women who will not be named.

The geezer looks over to the drunks and then back at Ed looking a tad confused. His look screamed 'How can a cute little thing like her possibly hurt them?' I almost snort. Really straight men these days don't use their heads . . . the one on their shoulders anyway. I gave him a 'look' from behind Ed which said 'Trust me or face the danger that is a pissed Ed.' His eyes widen at this but he gives me a slight nod.

"I must be going forgive me sirs." Before I can react Ed dashes off and disappears. You know it's rather wondrous that he could be that fast with such short legs.

**Normal PV**

_THAT STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING PERVERT! LECHER! HOW DARE HE SAY THAT I'M SO SHORT THAT I HAVE TO BE PROTECTED BY IDIOTIC DRUNKS! AND HOW DARE HE CALL ME DELICATE! I. AM. NOT. DELICATE! _

_He obviously didn't think I was so breakable when he was squeezing my ass!_

. . .

_DAMN IT I FORGOT TO BREAK OFF HIS ARMS FOR DOING THAT!_

"Hey kid you okay?" Ed turns at the sound of the boss's – as he's gotten accustomed to calling her – voice.

"Yes . . ." Ed answer using all the 'meekness' that he had in him, which isn't a lot.

"Don't worry kid we'll fill in for ya just go on home ya look like ya day wasn't the best." Ed bowed respectfully to her. Home. Al. Freedom from perverts. Ed nearly sighs in relief.

As Ed passes her she whispers in his ear. "Don't worry hun I'll see to it that those drunkards mysteriously break some fingers." Ed hugs her in gratitude and runs off to change into his other dress. He hoped to the gods that Roy never found out it was him, he'd never be able to live it down. Cross-dressing is one thing, cross-dressing in a skimpy maid outfit and working for a perverted mummy and his perverted drunk friends is another.

Ed shudders.

Ed was beyond pissed, it was probably because he was about to fall over in exhaustion. He had worked as a maid from five in the morning to five pm. He then spent time with Al – most of it trying to keep the sick boy as comfortable as possible – until seven, catching not a wink of sleep, and now he was on his way to work. It had taken an irritating hour to get to his destination which was in the other town. He was worried about Al and silently thanked the gods that his neighbor, a sweet red headed women had taken it upon herself to take care of Ed while he was at work; she even declined the money he had tried to give her.

The thought of his job made him feel even more tired. Sometimes they'd find missing pets, play counselor to a problem person, snoop on a suspicious husband, and there had been times where they were forced to play detective when a crime happened and nobody wanted to solve it. Then there were those rare times that they did nothing and he could just lay down on his desk, drool and sleep. Though he really, really hoped it was he didn't think that today was one of those days. Though the main reason why he was so pissed was in a word, Roy. Roy Mustang his perverted boss, who flirted outrageously with all the skirts in the office and even the customers. The man was arrogant, and slightly self-absorbed, annoying when he didn't show his true feelings, and downright cruel. Manuel labor was one thing, what he made Ed do was another thing in its own. Ed always got the weirdest, dirtiest, perverted, and nasty jobs. He was often sent to do these things himself and if not paired up with the worst person for the job.

Like when he had to get a savage cat out of an enormous tree – it really was HUGE, and it was not because Ed wasn't tall you smart asses it was like a mutant tree or some shit – he had been paired with Lulu a short haired blonde who was apparently terrified of cats. Wasn't that just peachy. He had to go up the damn tree, climb for what seemed like forever cause the little shit kept climbing higher and was rushed to the healing ward after the cat had savagely clawed his arms and chest. He had fallen out of the tree and broken a leg. And guess what, that piece of shit didn't even come and apologize to him; hell Roy hadn't even visited him while he was in the healing ward! Stupid piece of shit.

Ed didn't dislike Roy oh no it went farther than that! He hated that man with a passion and it had only gotten worse with the little 'incident'. Ed could still feel those hands on his ass and that crack about his height . . . His eye began twitching as he stormed into the building. His anger didn't dissipate as he made his way downstairs into the hardly lit hallway. He stomped his way to Roy's office and without a knock or any sort of warning he grabbed the door handle and swung it open. Brown hair, a nude fair skinned body, and huge boobs greeted him and needless to say Ed was NOT happy.

They hadn't heard his entrance and were still going at it. She bounced on Roy's lap crying out as he held her gargantuan breasts firmly in his grip. Ed couldn't really see everything because they were behind Roy's desk, sexing on the chair which Ed found gross and mountain of paper work blocked her lower half and for that Ed was immensely grateful. If he were to see his boss actually enter the little slut he might have to rip his eyes out of their sockets.

Her screams tore the air but it was Roy's pleased grunts that had Ed seeing red. With an ease he didn't know he possessed Ed calmly leaned back against the wall, folded his arms and ankles and said in a very calm voice.

"It's really inappropriate to bring prostitutes into the office chief you know how Riza gets when she finds cum stains on the floor." Ed kept in a grin as the scene played before him. Mind you Ed never once heard that Roy brought prostitutes over or that Riza had found any cum stains, but hey just because he didn't hear about didn't exactly mean that it hadn't happened just that Roy hid it rather well. So in retrospect Ed wasn't really lying he was telling the slu . . . women the dangers of sleeping with a womanizer like Roy.

SLAP!

"You… you bastard! You told me that there was nobody else for you!" She screeched as she tore off him, giving Ed a must unneeded few of her lower regions.

"B-but Trixie babe there really isn't-"

She glared at him and sent a book flying in his direction before gathering her scattered clothing. Ed helpfully handed the enraged women her skirt. She pulled on her clothes quickly and un-orderly – making her look like she had just been fucked, which she had – and flew out the door slamming it hard enough to make Ed wince slightly.

"Elric . . ." A dangerously low voice growled from the other side of the room.

Ed turned his head away from the brutalized door to at Roy, trying his very hardest not to laugh out loud at the rage and frustration dancing in the other man's eyes. Oh yes revenge was so very sweet . . .

". . . I've heard that Mr. Chavez is hear why don't you do entertain him as I clean the cum-stains that Riza hates so much." Roy said his face returning back to its stone impression.

. . . Except when it backfires. Ed scowled at him but he couldn't argue he lined himself up for this and he wouldn't back down. Without a word Ed stormed out and toward the room where Mr. Chavez always was. Mr. Chavez was one of their normal customers. He was a middle aged man, lanky, frail looking and highly annoying. Mr. Chavez was here as he always was for a counselor. The man had annoyed all the actual ones and therefore decided to come here, and because Roy refused to turn down anybody, they couldn't get rid of him though this was perfectly fine with Roy because the bastard never dealt with the high pitched man himself.

Ed had once been assigned to him, but after he stormed out in a rage beating up the walls and furniture in his desperation not to kill the customer, was never assigned to him again except, of course, now he had left Roy with an annoying hard on and thus was forced to deal with the nonstop whines of the painfully high-pitched man. The man never stopped whining, he whined about everything from his inability to get a girlfriend to the color of the damn sky! And as everyone knows Ed has absolutely no patience – except for Al – so well . . . it really was like sending Ed in as an executioner and not a counselor.

Ed grumbled under his breath as he opened the door and stepped in, "Stupid no good bastard!"

The lanky man turned. "Oh good you're here! Well I'll tell you, yesterday was awful! The sky was an awful shade of aquamarine and Daisy shouted at me, calling me a pervert! Can you believe that!? I was just commenting on the shade of her undergarments because you could right well see them through her dress . . . ." And let the torment begin. Ed's hands twitched aching to settle around somebody's neck.

Roy had his head on the paper littered table his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Yes he had cruelly been withheld his must needed release but the look on Ed's face! Oh it was well worth it! Roy sat up and drew a hand over his hair a grin etched into his features.

"Well I suppose I should go get him now, it wouldn't be good for business if he went and killed the customer, and those blood stains are nearly impossible to get out of carpet. . ." Roy announced to the empty room. Doing up his clothes Roy inspected his appearance before crossing to the door and opening it, poking his head out Roy observed the scene.

"Bastards, let me go! I was doing him a favor! Without that damn tongue of his all his problems would be solved! Let. Me. Go!" Ed screeched as Hockeye and another unnamed man dragged Ed out of the room kicking and screaming.

"Oh well, too late," Roy said a smile curving his lips before he reentered the office and allowed the door to shut behind him.

Skirts are the most uncomfortable thing on the planet! When it's windy you have to hold them down, when it's cold they don't offer much protection and when it's both, life is hell! Especially when you have to run around the grounds, dodging perverts in search for the biggest pervert of them all Roy Mustang. Ed was not happy. Fall usually wasn't very cold here the last couple of weeks had been ok but today was horrible! It was windy and cold and dark clouds marched through the sky. It looked like it was going to rain and it had better NOT rain until Ed got inside.

"Stupid, good for nothing Mustang! Who the hell goes out in this weather anyway?" Ed mumbled to himself, irritated. The grounds outside the mansion were huge but empty. The mummy had told Ed to locate Roy, which was supposedly outside. Well Ed didn't see him or any other living thing out here and if he got soaked because of those perverts somebody would die. Ed looked around again and had to hold down both his skirt and sunhat as a gust of freezing wind blew past him. Where the hell was that bastard anyway-?

Plop!

"Fuck no!" Edward whispered.

Plop! Plop! Plop, plop, plop, plop!

"Damn it!" Edward screeched as he ran toward the door, splashing the now puddle filled ground. It was raining a lot! Like so much that you could barely see the individual drops anymore. Edward grasped the door knob and pulled . . . it didn't open.

Edward tried again, nothing.

". . . "Edward felt his eyebrow twitch as his hand laid unmoving on the door knob. It was raining like crazy, it was cold, it was windy and he was outside in the thick of it, all because of Roy Mustang . . .

"DAMN IT SOMEBODY BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR BEFORE I BREAK THE FUCKING THING DOWN!" Edward yelled as he beat on the door.

Click!

The door swung open and Ed swore that he was seeing red. There, dry and warm stood a smirking Roy Mustang, correction a soon to be dead Roy Mustang.

"Well now little miss-

"I will kill you." Edward interrupted.

"-such profanity does not suit you. Now why don't you come in from that awful weather?" He asks stepping to the side making a sweeping motion with his hand.

Twitch, twitch.

_That bastard-_

Twitch

_Was inside-_

Twitch

_This whole time!_

The following was too violent and unladylike to be showcased to the seemingly innocent public so we shall fast forward though to give you some inclination of what happened we shall give you three hints: cussing, fists, and a very unladylike fighting style.

*Fast-forward*

"Will *gasp* still *pants* kill you!" he growled breathlessly from his disgraceful position over Mustang's shoulder. _'Like fucking dead meat!_' He thought to himself.

"Now, now my sweet little miss we can't have that, now can we." Roy asked with that arrogant voice of his.

"Let me down you pervert!" Ed growled.

He said, acting dramatically insulted, "Me, a pervert, why I never!"

Edward snorted. "You're the biggest pervert that I know-"

SQUEEZE!

Edward froze. Roy had touched his ass again and called him short . . .

"LET ME GO YOU FUCKING PERVERT! HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT I AM TOO SHORT TO FIGHT YOU OFF YOU, DISDRACEFULL, AROGANT, PERVERTED, SLUG?" Edward screeched. The maids and servants ignored this, having gotten use to their squabbles and Edward's louder than humanly possible screeches.

"Really little miss such language." He said merrily as he all but skipped off to the maid's quarters. Edward screeched and struggled all the way. He then stepped inside, all the girls turned to look up at him. The boss gave him her signature smirk. Ed couldn't see it – because of his rather disgraceful position – but he could feel it and it chilled him.

"Dammit boss lady help me! Can't you see that I've been kidnapped by Roy pervert Mustang?" Ed yelled. Though he felt slightly embarrassed considering that he couldn't turn around in this position and thus, it looked like he was yelling at the wall. It was all Roy's fault!

"Calm down sweet cheeks, he ain't raping yah." Boss answered as she blew out a puff of smoke. Ed could smell the cigarettes.

Ed felt his eye twitch. "That's all you have to say you old hag!"

"Heh, I rather be an old hag then a short shrimp." She smirked.

One. . .

Two. . .

Three . . .

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU OLD HAG! I AM NOT SHORT YOU'RE JUST A FREAKING GIANT! . . . ." *Goes on for a while* Roy having become use to Ed's don't call me short rants just sighed and looked over the maids. They were cute but . . . he couldn't help but compare them to the feisty blonde on his shoulder. A smirk graced his lips; the blonde was possessive and easily became jealous if the little fiasco in his office the other day had any merit.

The blonde unconsciously had staked his claim on him and Roy planned on testing how far he could take this. He set Ed down and walked over to a short, black haired beauty. He gave her an award winning smile before bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it softly. "Hello miss, you'll have to forgive her. She doesn't seem to like being reminded of her height or lack thereof. Though there are more better . . . more ladylike ways of handling this . . . though perhaps if a lady like yourself were to teach her, then maybe there is some hope yet."

She giggled as she removed her hand and Roy - inconspicuously - glanced at Ed. He had to bite his inner cheek to keep from snickering, the blonde was shaking. His hands were fisted and if Roy could see his face under that rather huge - and wet - sunhat he would bet that it was crimson red in both anger and embarrassment.

Roy turned his attention to the women Ed referred to as the 'boss lady'. "The little miss is soaked, I think it would be best to get her in a bath and then into dry clothing."

"Whatever yah say handsome." She purred.

"DAMN IT ROY I WILL KILL YOU, YOU PERVERTED PLAYER . . . !" Ed shouted as Roy left the room and allowed it to close behind him, a smirk all the while plastered on his face. Ed really was too cute.

Ed, in his new dry clothes stomps out of the mansion his umbrella under his arm. It had stopped raining an hour or so ago and Roy had left - much to Edward's relief - saying that he had to get paperwork done. Ed knew that, that couldn't possibly be true because Riza always did the paperwork. Roy was probably off fucking some whore.

"Damn it Roy! You perverted good for nothing player!" Ed growled. Without thinking he turned the corner and walked straight into somebody that had been walking in the other direction, the force of the impact had him tumbling back and sprawled undignified on the floor.

"Oh I'm so sorry! Please forgive me . . . Ed?"

Ed looked up and paled when he realized his sun hat had fallen off. The sight of the person standing before him, looking down at him with a shocked expression made him pale even farther.

". . . Winry . . ."

Ed quickly grabbed his hat plopped it on his head and tried to speed away from the girl, hoping that nobody else had saw him and that she wouldn't follow after him.

"Ed... hey you stop right there!" Winry shouted as she followed after him, Ed sighed he knew it wouldn't work.

Winry slid in front of him, blocking his path with his umbrella in tow. She was glaring at him. "You forgot your umbrella."

Ed sighed again and took it from her, he glanced around before speaking softly, "I'll explain just wait till we get to my house."

With that Ed walked past her, knowing that she would follow.

Ed held his door open for Winry and let it close behind her. He placed his umbrella by the door and his hat on the coat hanger. He turned around where Winry had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot impatiently.

"Why are you dressed like that Ed?" She asked and Ed's shoulders slumped.

"Follow me, "Ed ordered and led Winry up the staircase and into his and Al's bedroom. Al was resting in a fitful sleep, his eyebrows scrunched, his face sweaty and tinted red, and a cough broke his from his lips every so often.

Winry gasped and was at his side in half a second. Her hand went to the younger boy's forehead and she quickly removed it. She looked up at Ed worry and confusion set in her features.

"Ed how long has he been like this? Are you giving him any medicine?" She asked.

Ed nodded. "I've bought several different kinds but they have only been able to keep his fever from rising. The only thing I haven't tried is the Philosopher Stone Medicine, guaranteed to heal any sickness but..."

"But it's too expensive," Winry finished off as she glanced back at Al. "So you took a job that involved you to dress like that to cover it?"

Ed nodded silently and walked over to the wash basin sitting on the table by their bed, he took a rag and soaked it in the herbal medicine before taking it to all and replacing the old rag with it. "The job isn't as bad as your assuming it is. I just work as a maid, nothing more. It's rather perverted job so the man pays well and I plan on quitting in two days, I should have enough by then."

"What if I chip in?" Winry asked. "Maybe I'll have enough and then you can quit today..."

"No," Ed interrupted. "You need all the money you can make with Granny being bed ridden from the accident and all. It's only two more days, I'll be fine."

Ed looked at Winry, "I just, can I ask you for a favor? Can you maybe look over him until I get his medicine? The women next door comes in every so often throughout the day to feed him, give him medicine and change his wash rag but she has her own children and I would feel better if he was with you."

"Of course," Winry replied easily. "You should have brought him to us as soon as he got sick!"

Ed smiled slightly, "I just didn't want to be a bother."

Winry snorted, "Taking care of you two is never a bother! Besides Granny will be happy to do something, she's been grumbling that I'm treating her like a baby anyways."

Ed smiled and felt like a load was taking off of his shoulder.

"When are going to tell him?" Riza asked from where she stood by the door.

Roy looked up and tried to play innocent. "Tell who about what?"

Riza replied without batting an eyelash, "Tell Ed that you know."

Roy didn't even question how she knew this, Riza at times knew everything. "I don't know it's just so fun messing with him."

"Did you bother to find out why he's working there or for how long?" She asked.

Roy sighed, until now he had tried to not think about that. It had all been an erotic dream but now Riza was forcing him to question things and he found that the questions his mind was providing wasn't making him feel nearly as comfortable as he had been before.

Should truth be told, Roy never liked Ed to get hurt. He gave him all those perverted, dirty and lame jobs simply because he didn't want him to get hurt. The day Riza had told him Ed was in the hospital ward he nearly had a heart attack and ran over to check on the boy, leaving everything. Ed had been unconscious at the time and Roy felt terrible even though the doctor reassured him that it was only a broken leg. Ed shouldn't have gotten hurt and he never allowed himself to forget what happened. He visited Ed every night while he was at the ward. Though Ed would be sleeping and Roy would tell the nurses and doctor not to tell the fiery blond about his late night visits.

Roy bit his lip as the questions came to him.

Why was Ed working there?

Was there a problem at home?

Why did he need the money?

What if those drunks weren't as harmless as they looked?"

With that last thought Roy stood from his chair and left without an explanation, knowing that Riza would understand. It was time to do some investigating.

Ed was having a normal day. He was still pissed at Roy and felt confused because since when did he think of Mustang as anything other than a stupid pervert? When the hell did he turn into the charismatic, handsome Roy?

He grumbled and swept the floor with a little more fierceness than the job called for.

"Excuse me miss can you come in here for a second I need your help."

Ed glanced up distractedly and gave an absent nod, following the man into the room. It was when he saw three other men smiling at him perverted and the door lock behind him when he realized what was going on.

"Get the hell away from me," Ed hissed as they surrounded him.

One made a grab ay him and his frustration broke loose, setting his jaw he let loose a wild punch

Roy went running, a maid had said Ed was working on this floor and when he heard a scream his heart stopped. Coming to a locked door he broke it open with an adrenaline filled kick – which meant that his ankle would hurt like hell later – and froze.

There was Ed, sunhat-less looking pissed and whipping a spot of blood from his lip. He was also surrounded by unconscious broken bodies.

"Breaking down doors now Mustang? Do I look like a defenses heroine to you?" Ed growled.

Broken out of his stupor Roy rushed at Ed and embraced him hard, "You idiot you terrified me!"

"Get the hell off you pervert!" Ed said, blushing.

Roy looked into Ed's red face and took his lips roughly. Abruptly he pulled back, "Don't ever do something so stupid again! T-those men they could have…"

Ed snorted, "I can take care of myself, and what the fuck did you kiss me for!?"

Roy smirked smugly, "Just staking my claim."

Ed blushed, "Y-your claim!? Like hell-"

Roy silenced Ed with a kiss.

**Epilogue**

Ed kissed Al who was now resting comfortably with the aid of the medicine. He waved at Winry, who smiled and headed for work.

He saw Roy gesture to him and schooled his blush as he made his way toward him, "What?"

Roy pouted, "Is that anyway to treat your boyfriend Ed?"

Ed glared at him, "What is it Roy."

Roy smirked at the usage of his name, "I just wanted to ask how Al was doing, you know you could have asked me to pay for the medicine and quick after what… happened."

Ed snorted, "You can say it they tried to rape me." He saw Roy flinch and his tone softened, "I took care of it, and I had nothing but a split lip. I'm fine and like hell I would have quit, I just had one more day!"

Roy crossed his arms, "You shouldn't have had a split lip you weren't supposed to be working there in the first place! You should have come to me."

"I'm not a girl Roy, "Ed glared.

"But you look like one," Roy teased only to have to duck from a book Ed flung at his head before the blond stormed out of his office.

It was the end of the day and Roy went over to find Ed, intent on walking his boyfriend home and hopefully to…

Roy forced the image of a naked Ed out of his head when he caught the real one talking to Fury. Roy didn't like the way Ed had been ignoring him the whole day so he slipped up behind Ed as he chatted happily with Fury. Roy pulled Ed toward him and trailed his hands up Ed's inner thighs.

Ed squeaked and pushed him away nearly tripping in his haste, "W-wait get off me you pervert who said you could touch me any time you wanted just because you-"

"Made your body ache with pleasure and your throat hoarse from screaming?" Roy provided as his arms wormed around Ed's waste.

Ed blushed as Roy trailed kisses down his neck and turned away from the disbelief or humor he saw in everyone's eyes.

"Get the fuck off Mustang!" Ed argued, half – heartedly as he melted into Roy's embrace. Suddenly Roy fell slack and slipped onto the ground he gave a grateful look at Riza and ran, knowing that Roy would come to any minute.

Sometimes Ed swore that a maid's life was way fucking better than what he had to deal with on daily bases!

**The End!**

A/N: I know it's a little rushed, sorry! Well I hope some of you enjoyed this at least! See you guys!


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